I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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