Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
