i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
