They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You have to summon your inner elephant
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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