these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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