I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
