he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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