Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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