It's Friday. Sex?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Randomize
