Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
