Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I believe in your delicious
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
