The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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