Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
