I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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