I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
