I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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