Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
