She's JV to your varsity
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
