i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
