Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
