she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
