if i died would you start the facebook group?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
