ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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