I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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