what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
