god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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