im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
