conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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