i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize