I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
