So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
