Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize