I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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