she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
