Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
