i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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