How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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