Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
