keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
