I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
