Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
