you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Every concussion has its silver lining
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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