I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
