I heard we made out
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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