I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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