why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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