And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
