he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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