What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
