i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
