As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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