Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just pee around me
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
