Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
