i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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