no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
