oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
