just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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